1:1s, Feedback, Delegation and Conflict

You can make good technical choices and still lose the team if you avoid the hard conversations. This lesson covers the people questions that a team lead is asked in interviews, and the simple habits behind good answers.

Read Lesson 0 first for the answer shape. For conflict and mistakes as interview stories see Full-Stack Lesson 38 (coming soon). For how to review code kindly see Lesson 3.

Everything here is common practice and opinion. Teams and countries differ, and people differ even more. Use the ideas, not the exact words, and always use your own true examples.

Words used in this lesson

• A 1:1 is a regular private meeting between a lead and one person on the team. It is the person's time, not a status meeting.
• Feedback is information about what someone did and the effect it had, given so they can keep or change it.
• Delegation is giving someone a piece of work and the authority to decide how to do it.
• Micromanagement is checking and controlling the details of someone's work more than is useful.
• Disagree and commit means you say your view clearly, and once a decision is made, you support it fully even if you would have chosen differently.
• Psychological safety (in simple words) is the feeling that you can ask a question, admit a mistake or disagree without being punished or laughed at.

1:1s: the person's time

Ideas from the list, in simple words:

• Do not squeeze a 1:1 into 30 minutes by default. One article in the list argues that the default short slot is an anti-pattern and that longer slots (or a different day) can make it better.
• Ask good questions. The list points to an HBR article with five questions every manager should ask. Its subjects are: growth, purpose, what they need from you, and what the company should change.
• Spend the first 1:1s listening. Andrew Bosworth's "A Career Cold Start Algorithm" is described in the list as: spend most of the first conversations asking what the other person thinks you should know, then ask about current challenges and who else you should talk to.

A simple shape that I use (my own):

1. Their topics first. "What is on your mind?"
2. Blockers and support. "What is slowing you down? What do you need from me?"
3. Growth. "What do you want to learn in the next few months?"
4. Feedback both ways. "Is there something I should do more or less of?"
5. Write down two or three actions with names and dates, and read them at the next 1:1.

Feedback: specific, soon, about the work

• Write down decisions and assignments. Crucial Conversations is listed with the advice to write down decisions and assignments instead of trusting memory. It helps because two people often remember a hard talk differently.
• Make it regular, not rare. The list mentions a monthly "Open Feedback Circle", where everyone gives and receives feedback; its author says it builds trust. Another entry is a talk in which people name their own top weaknesses and teammates only say "thank you".
• A simple shape for hard feedback (my own): what I saw (a specific fact), the effect it had, a question ("how do you see it?"), and one thing to try. For example: "In the review yesterday your comments were very short, and the new teammate went quiet. How did it feel from your side? Can we try adding one reason to each comment?"
• Praise specific things too. "The rollback plan in your doc saved us" teaches more than "good job".

Delegation: trust with clear edges

Ideas from the list:

• Do not dig up the seed every week. The list quotes William Coyne: you should not check a seed every week to see how it is growing. Checking too often hurts the work.
• The 70/10/80 principle. Find someone who can do about 70% of the job, teach the extra 10%, and accept an 80% result. (Waiting for someone who does 100% means nobody grows and you stay the bottleneck.)
• Be precise. A vague request wastes time; the list links an article titled "Your Small Imprecise Ask Is a Big Waste of Their Time" (I inferred its point from the title).
• Delegation is central. Will Larson's "Lazy Leadership" is listed as presenting delegation as central to leadership.

A clear delegation has five parts (my own checklist): the goal (what "done" looks like), the owner (one name), the limits (budget, deadline, what needs approval), the check-ins (when and how), and the support (what you will give).

Conflict and disagreement

• Disagree and commit. The list links a video with that title (no summary). The common meaning is the one in the definition above: argue before the decision, support it after.
• Refute the central point. Paul Graham's "How to Disagree" is described in the list as: aim to refute the central point, rather than attacking tone or the person.
• Communicate when trust is low. An article in the list says: acknowledge the difficulty, speak tentatively, and aim for at least five positive interactions for each negative one.
• Narrative first. Another says people are moved more by a story than by facts, and that you should explain why before what, and repeat it.

A simple way to handle a team conflict (my own): talk to each person alone first and listen for the facts and the feelings; bring them together around a shared goal; separate "what happened" from "what it meant"; agree on one small change each; check back in a week.

Trust and performance

• Trust matters more than a bit of extra output. A talk by Simon Sinek, as the list describes it, says a medium-performing, high-trust person is better for a team than a high-performing, low-trust one. Treat this as an opinion, not a fact.
• Assess performance, not potential. High Output Management (Andy Grove) is listed with this advice.
• A framework for a low performer. The list mentions CARES: communicate, set accountability, build a roadmap, execute, and support. In simple words: say it clearly, agree what is expected and by when, make a plan, do it, and help.
• Transparency builds trust. An article in the list says to be open about what you know and about the reasons for decisions.

Interview questions

Key takeaways

• A 1:1 is the other person's time: their topics, blockers, growth, and feedback for you. Write down actions.
• Feedback should be specific, soon, private, and about the work: what I saw, the effect, a question, one thing to try.
• Delegate the goal, one owner, limits and check-ins. Accept about 80%, and do not micromanage.
• Autonomy is not abandonment. Stay reachable.
• Disagree before the decision and commit after it. Refute the central point, not the person.
• When trust is low, acknowledge the difficulty and aim for many small positive interactions.
• Help a low performer with clear expectations, a plan and support. Do not surprise them.
• Rules about performance and firing differ by country and company. Ask your manager and HR.
• This is common practice and opinion. Adapt it to your team.

What's next

Next: Mentoring, onboarding and hiring, Lesson 9. Practise: write the five-part delegation note (goal, owner, limits, check-ins, support) for one task you currently own and could hand to someone.